Gary Bencivenga's

“My golden rules for maxim-izing your response, revenue, and success as a copywriter, marketer, or entrepreneur.”

Dear Marketing Maven,

Today, in honor of this season of giving and joy, I have a special gift for you. It comes not in a golden box with a red ribbon, but in the unadorned text of the message you’re about to read.

It reveals one of the great secrets of life, how to connect with people, and, most of all, how to experience unsurpassed joy any time you wish.

If you read every word that follows, don’t be surprised if a tear wells up in your eye. This is my holiday gift to you, a true story that will touch your heart.

As some of my readers may know, I am the father of a developmentally disabled daughter. To my wife Pauline and me, Laura, our only child, is the light of our lives.

But this story, which occurred a number of years ago, is about another father. His son, named Shaya, was also born with developmental disabilities.

The story was originally reported in the New York newspapers. It was so touching, it spread like wildfire across the internet, and many began to question, “Did this really happen, or is it just another urban legend?”

Yes, this story really is true.

That’s perhaps the most amazing part of this story. It actually happened. In fact, because of all the buzz, a website called “TruthOrFiction.com” investigated and has reported that, yes, the story is indeed true. It was also confirmed by no less an authority than the highly respected Brooklyn rabbi and author Paysach Krohn, who said that he personally knows the participants and that every word of the story is true.

Here's the story as originally reported…

Shaya is a developmentally disabled boy in Brooklyn. On weekends, Shaya and his dad like to go for walks. As they walk, they like to stop and watch the neighborhood boys play baseball.

One Sunday afternoon, as they approached the ball field, Shaya looked up at his father and asked, “Dad, do you think they would let me play?”

Now, this gave Dad a dilemma. He knew his son is developmentally disabled, very uncoordinated, and had never played baseball before.

But Dad also knew that the neighborhood boys had always treated Shaya with kindness. And he felt that if he, his father, didn’t speak up for Shaya, who would?

So, Dad walked over to one of the boys and asked, “What do you think about letting Shaya in the game?”

The boy didn’t know what to say and looked around to his teammates for guidance. Not getting any, he took matters into his own hands. He said, “Well, we’re about to start the eighth inning, and we’re losing by six runs. I don’t think we’re going to win this game, so what’s the difference? Get him a glove and he can play behind second base, in short center field,” which Shaya did with a big smile on his face.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya’s team rallied and scored three runs. But they were still losing by three. In the bottom of the ninth, they rallied again. They had three runners on base, two out, and it was Shaya’s turn to bat.

Dad wondered, will they even let him bat? But without hesitation, one of the boys shouted, “Shaya, you’re up!” And he was handed a bat.

As he stood at home plate, it was obvious to all that Shaya didn’t even know how to hold the bat, let alone hit with it.

So, the pitcher moved in a couple of feet and lobbed the ball very softly so Shaya could at least make contact.

Shaya swung and missed by a wide margin. Before the second pitch, one of Shaya’s teammates called out, “Hold on, let me help him. Let me show him how to bat.”

This boy came and stood behind Shaya and put his arms around him, so the two boys were now holding the bat together.

The pitcher moved in a couple of feet more and again lobbed the ball as softly as he could. The two boys swung the bat together and managed to tap a soft grounder right back toward the pitcher. Shaya’s teammates yelled, “Run, Shaya! Run to first!” And he took off for first.

The pitcher pounced on the ball in an instant. He could easily have thrown Shaya out at first, ending the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and, with obvious intention, threw it on a high arc way over the first baseman’s head, all the way into the outfield.

Shaya was safe at first. The first baseman turned him toward second and said, “Run, Shaya, run to second!”

By then, the right fielder had chased down the ball and he, too, could have easily thrown Shaya out, at second.

But he understood what the pitcher had done. He threw the ball not just over second base, but way over the third baseman’s head, so far that nobody was going to retrieve that ball.

As Shaya chugged into second base, the opposing shortstop ran toward him, turned him toward third base and shouted, “Run, Shaya, run to third!”

Of course, by now the three runners who had been on base had scored. The game was tied, Shaya represented the winning run, and his teammates were screaming with excitement.

As Shaya rounded third base, every boy from his team and several from the team on the field were all running behind him, cheering him home.

And as he put his foot on home plate, both teams gathered around him, lifted him on their shoulders and cheered him as the hero of the game. He had just hit a home run and won the game.

These boys gave Shaya the thrill of his life. Of course, they gave him something even more precious—their acceptance.

Obviously, these boys had either been taught, or maybe discovered on their own, perhaps the greatest secret of human happiness.

And that is…

We experience our moments of purest joy at precisely those moments when we are causing it in others.

It is a truism of life—whatever we give out comes back to us multiplied. Which brings me back to the beginning of this message…

In the hurly burly of the holiday crush, if you want to experience joy, all you need to do is take a few moments to spread some around.

So maybe it’s time to call an old friend who needs calling, to forgive what needs forgiving (especially in ourselves), to let a family member hear some healing words, to write that note that needs writing, to smile an accepting smile at the next disabled person you encounter, to just relax in the moment with someone older who’d love your undivided attention for a few minutes.

Of course, you may ask, what does all this have to do with effective marketing, the usual subject of these Maxims?

Nothing, really. And everything.

A Maxim to live by?

Malcolm Forbes, media mogul and publisher of Forbes Magazine for many years, liked to fill his magazine with articles about the most successful companies and executives in the world. But in his editorials, he loved to share a wise and often inspiring observation about human nature. After such insights, he’d sign off with this maxim from the Bible…

“In all thy getting, get understanding.”

A point he made was that our prospects, customers, and co-workers are people, too, and we all like to connect with others who are unafraid of showing their humanity, of taking some time now and then to share a laugh, feel some warmth, express some sympathy, do a favor, help a charity, be a friend, and focus on one of the most important things in life, helping each other.

Whatever your product, however impressive your expertise, people will never care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Every now and then, toss a few pebbles of caring into your pond of contacts. Those ripples of friendship will spread and unfailingly return to you in waves of appreciation and loyalty.

Especially at this time of year, we all need to rediscover, as Scrooge did in “A Christmas Carol,” the sheer, giddy delight of perpetrating upon unsuspecting humanity an occasional act of random kindness, resulting in effervescent joy.

That’s my sincere wish for you and yours today.

Sincere wishes for a good life and (always!) higher response,

Gary Bencivenga Signature

Gary Bencivenga


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